That sounds strange doesn’t it?
Not like you need to give someone permission to process something really challenging. It seems like something that you would just naturally do, right?
But is it?
What if instead of ignoring all the transition and changes you embraced them?
What if you needed to give yourself the permission to process? How would that change where you are now?
My story, for years I just kept going. I am strong, capable, and beautiful woman. I was not going to let life transitions keep me from what I knew was my destiny. But then what I thought was my destiny and path got radically rocked. I was not longer in that job or in that path I thought I was to go down.
What do I do now?
It really hurt at first. I thought I spent enough time grieving it, you know like 2 days. Then I went full force back into where I was going next. Africa, business school, starting a non-profit etc. all the things people do in massive transitions (I may be sarcastic here). Then I had a close friend have something similar happen to her. It hit me like the first time I heard the news of my new life path. I could not shake it. I was so sad, so hurt, so confused for her and for me.
It was at that moment I realized I was not ok.
It was at that moment I realized I had not given myself permission to really grieve and process 10 or 15 major losses that had happened in the last 9 years. It was then I realized something needed to change.
Well I didn’t actually realize all that at once but that moment was the beginning of something very new.
The freedom to grieve.
It took me some counseling, lots of journaling, fighting with my “strong” self and lots of strong conversations with God until I surrendered to the process. Until I allowed myself to experience the freedom that comes from grieving.
I am no where done with the process or the journey but I have found a new freedom in feeling. Not busying myself so I am numb. The freedom to have space just to think, to cry, to remember, to be alone with no plans, to be joyful, to dream. Just to BE.
So what do you and me have in common?
At some point in our lives we will go through this same process. Probably many times in our lives. If we don’t learn how to grieve it can combust. Just like it did for me.
My hope is that this would spur something in you to stop the cycle and find the freedom to greive.
Not sure where to start…
I’ve create 3 Simple Steps to Start the Grieving Process:
1. Stop. Yes take a minute to sit and just be. Not do all the things that you think need to be done. Find that alone time where you can just be with you.
2. Listen. To what is really going on with you. What are you feeling? How is that impacting you? Where are you missing things? Listen to whatever it is that might be going on with you.
3. Be. Don’t let the feelings, question etc scare you or keep you from being in it. You will get through this process. You just have to trust the process. So allow your self to rest, reflect and just be.
Don’t let hope deferred make your heart sick. Freedom is coming.
Until Next time.
Live life to the fullest.
XOXO,
Camille Paterson
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